There is a lot of dark in the world. Darkness is so heavy to carry. It’s so dense to walk through. We’re all scared of the dark. We think. I’d like to argue we aren’t scared of the dark at all. We’re safe in the dark. Lonely, perhaps, but safe. We can hide behind the darkness. We can bury the hurt and the pain under the darkness. We adjust our perception so we can maneuver the limited bubble of space our darkness offers. It’s not great, but we know it. It’s our dark space, at least. We’re comfortable there. We feel safe there. Darkness gives us the illusion of protection.
But, in reality, in our perfect world, we want the light. We’re intrigued by the light. In the light, our lives shine so brightly. With light comes so much promise. We want more of that. Yet, when we realize we have to walk through more of the dark to step into that light, we often times choose our dark little bubble. It’s dark. But it’s ours.
I’ve been on the path to awakening for awhile now. I got a taste of the light and now I have to keep choosing it. I’m drawn to it. I have to have more and more of the things that make my light shine. I’ve noticed that the longer I walk this path to enlightenment, the further away it seems to get. Herein lies the journey. We don’t ever truly get there. We don’t go there, we grow there.
Maybe this knowledge isn’t anything new. Maybe that’s why so many people stay in their little dark bubble. They know if they leave it, they still will never make it all the way to the light. I get it. I left my bubble and now I stumble. I stumble much more than I ever would have had I stayed. Sometimes I completely just stop. I sit down, in the dark, determined that if I can’t go back, I’ll at least stay, stuck, right where I am. The journey through darkness gets too heavy. But then I remember. It’s a choice. Darkness is a choice. The heaviness. Is a choice. And I want more light.
I’ve been struggling with a transition of growth lately. I’ve been carrying heavy emotions and thoughts. I was looking outside myself for fulfillment. For something, or someone, to share and alleviate my burden. A recent conversation with my coach helped me to realign. To recenter. To find my way back to the path of enlightenment. The shift in perspective. The reminder to let go of things that feel heavy. The conscious choice of light over dark. These things have helped me to get back up. To keep moving forward. To keep moving toward the light. I’m ready for the next step on my journey. I’m ready to face the growing pains. To face the questions. To seek the answers in this vast darkness. To awaken. To step further into the light.